Praise to the "Gods of Electrical Gadgets"

Puttering around in the kitchen the other day, I have come to the conclusion that electrical gadgets are taking over our kitchens. I truly believe this to be a provable.
Women, including myself, practically worship the darn things. You know all those little gadgets that make whipping up a meal a breeze.
For instance, the old hand cranked can opener, you remember the ones that clamped on the rim of a can and was powered with all the strength you could muster up has been replaced by the electric can opener. It’s so exciting to stick the old tin can under the little thing-a-bob and the whole can begins to magically turn cutting off the lid clean as a whistle. Life is good.
The simple task of mashing potatoes isn’t quite as simple as it once was. No longer can you simply reach in the drawer, pull out the old wire ‘tater-masher’ and take out all of frustrations out on a pot of taters. No, now we have to drag out the electric mixer to take on that demanding job of tater mashing. We cannot have lumps in those mashed taters.
Of the electric kitchen gadgets, I do believe my favorite is the electric orange juicer is my favorite. Remember the old orange juicer that had the pointed dome in the center that was surrounded by a little trough to catch the juice and the seeds. Ok, the system was flawed. Every once in a while, a seed escaped and slid down your throat.
I discovered that little gadget is now electrified, The pointed dome turns while you hold the orange. Juice, seeds, and pulp separated; seeds in one compartment, pulp in another, and your juice in another. Life’s good.
It is a mystery to me how we ever sliced anything before without the benefit of an electric knife. Ladies, the electric knife gave us power!
But, when the crock-pot came along, I must admit I was in hog-heaven.
I could put an entire meal in the crock-pot in the morning and a meal fit for a king would be ready by suppertime. I could have a roast beef dinner on the table in a matter of minutes. And, the family thought I had slaved over the stove all day.
“Course, it was always important to drag out a few pots and pans and scatter them on the kitchen counter to impress the hubby. A little flour sprinkled here and there always added the final touch for that “all day in the kitchen” look.
These “must have” gadgets are created by the “gods of electric gadgets” They watch and wait for Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries, or any other occasion worthy of a gift. Then, low and behold, we earth women are blessed with a new electrical gadget.
One Christmas, I got an electric salad shooter. The way I understood it, you could put your salad ingredients into this thing and it shoots them right into the bowl. It took me a little while to get the hang of this thing. I was picking up lettuce and carrots out of the kitchen corners for months.
I have only one question? Why would anyone ever need a contraption like this?
Another Christmas, I received an electric food dehydrator. My sons’ explanation for this gadget was,” Now, Mom, you can have dried banana slices.”
Whoopee…Again, why?
Christmas before last, I got an electric bread machine. The days of mixing, kneading, punching, and waiting for the dough to rise were gone forever; lost to the “gods of electrical gadgets.”
I must admit that machine was pretty cool. All I had to do was dump all the stuff into the machine, turn it on, and three hours later, bread magically appeared.
Last Christmas, my sons presented me with a chicken roaster. All I had to do was stick the bird on this rack, close the door, and a fully cooked bird emerges. Life is good.
I don’t know how, but my kitchen has been turned into a shrine dedicated to the “gods of electrical gadgets.”
It’s only fitting. There they sit, lining the kitchen cabinets in all their multi-colored glory. It is such a soul-stirring sight.
I enter my kitchen in great reverence, gently putting ingredients into the bread machine, placing the sacrificial bird on the rack of the roaster, fill the dehydrator with slices of bananas, and reach for my salad shooter, only to realize I have run out of electrical outlets on my kitchen counters. Tears begin to stream down my face. What is a woman to do?
Again, my sons to the rescue, for my birthday, they bought me this new electrical gadget that cooks everything from the bread, to the main course, to the dessert in one glorious pan.
It’s great, just dump all the stuff in and like magic a full course meal pops out.
Life’s beautiful in my corner of the world.